LibertyByExample | The top 10 reasons why the Mafia should replace the State.

Emily delivered this winning rant at the Soapbox Idol competition from Porcfest 2011.

  • The mafia has a sense of honor, if they say they will do something they do it.
  • The Mafia code of conduct is simple and clear and unfettered by legal doublespeak and millions of regulations.
  • When competing Mafia families go to war they don’t kill thousands as collateral damage.
  • Instead of conducting the war on drugs and the American people, the Mafia is perfectly happy to peacefully provide high quality products to people that desire them.
  • When you buy protection from the Mafia, you get protection.
  • The Mafia’s protection is much less expensive than the State’s.
  • Unlike the State the Mafia actually wants your business to succeed. They know that ruining your business means you can’t pay for protection. The Mafia imposes almost no regulatory overhead, nor do they require that you waste your time filling out zillions of self incriminating tax forms.
  • The Mafia won’t keep you from having a gun to protect yourself and your family. The State prefers that you be disarmed. The Mafia will gladly sell you the means to protect yourself.
  • The State wants to regulate what you do in your bedroom. The Mafia not only doesn’t want to regulate what you do in your bedroom, but they will gladly sell you whatever you need to enhance your enjoyment.
  • Members of the Mafia have a great sense of style, dress far better than government bureaucrats and are much easier on the eyes.