Sam Vaknin | A TRUE friend supports you only when he believes that you are doing the right thing in your self-interest and welfare;
A FAKE friend supports you always, no matter what you do.
A TRUE friend respects you only when you have earned respect and act respectably;
A FAKE friend “respects” you regardless of your behavior – or misbehaviour.
A TRUE friend trusts you only as long as you prove yourself trustworthy, only while you do not put his trust to the test too often, and only on certain issues;
A FAKE friend “trusts” you with everything and always.
To summarise:
A TRUE friend puts to you a mirror in which you see REALITY and the TRUTH.
A FAKE friend puts to you a mirror in which you see your own reflection, yourself and nothing else besides.
A TRUE friend loves YOU in your friendship. He loves YOU even without your friendship.
A FAKE friend loves HIMSELF in your friendship – or loves the friendship itself, but never YOU.
With a TRUE friend you need never ask: “what is he getting out of this relationship?” for loving you is its own reward.
With a FAKE friend you must always ask “why is he still in this relationship?” for loving you is never enough of a reward.
(From the book “Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited” by Sam Vaknin
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